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Being Feminine is Your Most Powerful Asset

Nature has blessed you with your femininity.  That’s your first asset.  The mere fact that you were born a woman makes you something special.  Be proud of your femininity and make the most of it.  -John Roberts Powers, Secrets of Poise, Personality, and Model Beauty, 1961.

Dear Friends,

True confession time:  I love being a feminine woman.  I love all of the pots of potions that sit on my dresser.  I love wearing perfume, makeup, and pretty clothes.  All of the accoutrements of being a feminine woman make me feel special.  And, I wholeheartedly agree when Mr. Powers says, above, that being feminine is your most powerful asset.  Unfortunately, too many women don’t understand how to draw power from their femininity.

The Rise of the Fake Man

A major misconception of our modern culture is mistaking femininity with weakness.  Masculinity is considered strong while people often equate femininity as powerlessness.  As a result, women are encouraged to adopt masculine styles and behaviors.  And, in their desire to be successful, women follow the advice to be a fake man.  But, being a fake man is kryptonite for feminine women like me because we cannot be authentic to ourselves.   I’m guessing that I’m not alone.

How Being Feminine is Your Most Powerful Asset

In my own life, embracing my ultra-feminine self gives me the confidence to achieve my personal and professional goals.  Here are some of the ways we can draw on our feminine powers:

  • Recognize our innate creative abilities.   Women excel in areas of creativity because we are, literally and figuratively speaking, the creators.  I mean, think about it.  Women are able to create another human within them!  How awesome is that?  When we surrender to our innate creative power, we are able to find unique solutions to all sorts of problems.
  • Rely on our intuition.  I don’t know if women have been the primary caregivers because of our refined “spidey senses” or if being the primary caregivers has honed our intuition.  Either way, how many of us have said, “I wish I had trusted my intuition!”  We knew something was off but decided that we were being irrational.  The psychological lowdown:  Intuition is developed over time.  It is in constant surveillance mode looking for how new information matches up with previously stored information. It then sends “advice” to our conscious about how to think and/or react.  Relying on our intuition is taking advantage of all of the mental tools in our sewing basket.
  • Value relationships over independence.  One of the great American myths is the “rugged individualist” who succeeds on his own.  It pervades our culture and can be seen in our fascination of the lone cowboy and the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kinds of government policies.  But women know better.  We’re the ones who gather for sewing circles and coffee klatches.  Before the sad state of online mommy wars, older women mentored younger women.  Casserole dishes were delivered to each others’ homes in times of need.  All the women in the village raised the children.  Let men be their rugged individualist selves.  Women know that if they join together in a common cause, they are unstoppable.

Be Audacious!

Despite the pressure to conform to the male definition of success, let’s be audacious by relying on our feminine power.  Let’s celebrate our differences while also affirming that feminine success should be as equally valued as men’s success.  Our feminine power is a perfect complement to male power.  We don’t have to compete.  And we don’t have to go by the men rules, either.

After all, being a woman is our most powerful asset.

Your Turn

In the comments, share other ways that women can tap into their feminine power.

To your fabulous Technicolor life!

Dr. Julie-Ann

Image credit: Illustration derived from The New Models advertisement by Coby Whitmore courtesy of Colleen O’Eris on Flickr.com


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  1. I find that being generous with compliments to other women is a great way of helping others tap into their feminine power because when a woman feels good, she is more confident and happy within herself!

  2. Mish,
    You are absolutely right! I am often heartbroken by the “mommy wars” that seem to be so prevalent online (and in the pick up line at the schools). It seems like women are quick to judge each other instead of encourage them. “Mean girls” to the max.

    Your comment was a nice nudge for me to let the women around me know how much I appreciate them.


  3. You are most welcome Julie-Ann!

    Yesterday I wore a simple dress to work but because it was in my favourite colours I received lots of compliments about it – obviously wearing that dress makes me happy

    So why not pass on some of that joy and happiness to others … it’s as easy as telling them you like their dress/shoes/hair/necklace and it makes them feel good and you feel good.

    That’s a win – win for me!

  4. The cultivation of spirituality matters most to me. From spirituality come serenity and depth of character, and though we see these qualities as individual, the world feels the blessings they bring.

  5. some very good thoughts. Thanks.
    I remind myself every day that I do not need to compete. I am sustainable unto myself.
    I just wish I had realized this when a bit younger.

    Dr. Molly

  6. Absolutely, Kathy. I can always tell when I have missed a day of two in quiet meditation. My days just seem “off” when I don’t nurture my spirit.

  7. I completely agree! I think we have confused feminism with machismo…I wear a dress and pearls when I run errands. I cannot tell you how often during each trip, I am stopped and complimented. The saddest part is when any elderly gentleman stops me to tell me how wonderful it is to see a woman well dressed and look like a classy lady, they literally apologize first!! apologizing before giving a compliment??? How sad!! I tell them never ever tell me they are sorry for letting me know I brightened their day! It took me about 10 years in of being a stay at home mom to stop listening to others, mainly women, berate my choice to do so. I was born to run a household and keep my family my priority. And I will do so wearing pearls (and i just found white gloves too! 😉

  8. I am retired now, but I was always astounded by the number of women my age (younger baby boomer) in the office that claimed to be tomboys who never played with dolls. As an only girl, I played my share of backyard baseball and crabapple fights, but I was usually the only one in my workplace who proudly claimed to be a “ girly-girl”. It seems to be a new form of competition not to claim to be feminine.

    I also wonder to myself, who bought all those Barbie dolls sold in the late sixties?

  9. I told my husband years ago that beings a working woman and mom was hard because they kept changing all the rules on me! I was bad mom because I worked (since my daughter needed a roof over her head and liked eating) or I was not dedicated to my job because I needed to stay home when my daughter was sick or I left work early some days for soccer games or ballet recitals.

    In the long run it all worked out. I finally said go to h-e double tooth picks and just didn’t listen. Life is too short.

    P.S. I still wear my pretty suits and my pearls.

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